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Everything In Nigeria Will Kill You.

There is a country in the sunny continent called AFRICA, it is located at the heart of this continent. It is the giant of this continent where the people are dark-skinned, it is located where the sun sets in Africa. It's name is NIGERIA and everything in this country is out to kill you.

The heat when your parents are trying to play the game that brought you to life is actually enough to kill you. If you survive you need to run a race against 1 million sperm to be a being to arrive in this country.

From your first day, you face a long walk to survival. Your mother needs to pass through a lot to finally conceive you, the health sector is the number one assassin you face as it is in a shambolic state. If your mother has to go through Caesarean operation, it's either you die or you lose your mom.

Right from the day you start schooling, you might be kicked by a rickety vehicle on the road by a man who doesn't love to drive such a car, but the economy situation of the country is hard on him. If you survive the car on the road you might have to go hungry for days because your parents' salary might be delayed due to government inability to pay.

People trek when a president win election, and continue to trek long after he assumes office. In this country trekking will kill you.

In this country to shake hand is suicidal; the agent of death "Ebola" is on a mission.

Taking drug while you are sick is suicidal, you are poisoning yourself because the drug is definitely going to be fake.

Writing WAEC might be a passage into SAMBISA; some terrorist are against you going to school.

Going to the market, church or gathering at a public place is the easier way to heaven, a bomb is always in the waiting to suck blood.

The news on new year eve is enough to send you on a meeting with God, a President that have no shoe might have ordered for all the shoes in the country to be his.

A person will have 150 cows in 2003 and still have 150 cows in 2015, and such a man is expected to rule them, in this county foolishness will kill you.

A man will leave this country as a man, and return as a woman. In this country wonders will kill you.

You call a president clueless and take to the street for removing subsidy, and praise another and call him CHANGE agent for doing the same thing. In this country hypocrisy will kill you.

When God said "let there be light" this country was excluded, the darkness will kill you, if you opt for artificial means, the noise will kill you.

You win an election through propaganda and decide to rule the people through propaganda, in this county propaganda will kill you.

If you decide to be a farmer, herdsmen will kill you.

If you decide to be a doctor, kidnapers will kill you.

When you graduate from school, unemployment will kill you.

As a student police will kill you

As a worker unpaid salaries will kill you.

When you retire your pension will kill you.

If you decide to buy a car either you are killed by road accident or you die on the long queue trying to fuel your car.

Never decide to fly by air, definitely plane crash will immortalize you.

Never try the ship, militants will kidnap you.

Never decide to watch the super eagles play, heart attack will kill you.

If you buy a land, omo-onile might kill you.

Nothing in this country wants you to survive, every stage of life in this country is set to frustrate the masses to death. I think David Cameron was wrong. We are not "fantastically corrupt" , "we are tragically corrupt".
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